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08 December 2010

Is this a joke?

I can only assume that it must be.

Introducing EYE CANDY

The candy that provides you with a sensational new way to see.

This delicious new confectionary uses cutting edge Sensory Substitution Technology to transmit vivid emotive images into your mind's eye.

Available in six unique flavours, each helping you achieve the right state of mind by projecting specifically created evocative imagary [sic] into your field of vision.

Eye Candy is the natural way to become the person you want to be.

Yeah, I'm not kidding about that last line. Because sticking an electrified lollipop with a USB connector into your mouth is perfectly natural.

But surely there must be solid science to back this up! They do, after all, have a page titled "HOW IT WORKS":

Let us in on the secret!

Each of your senses (touch, smell, sight, taste, hearing) sends information to the brain at a different frequency. The brain determines where the sensorial information it receives comes from by the frequency at which it resonates, it can then process it in the appropriate way (e.g. turn sight information from the eyes into pictures in the mind).

An array of resonators positioned on the surface of an Eye Candy transmit information from the tongue to the brain at the frequency that the eyes usually send visual information to the brain. A pleasant sensation of soda bubbles can be felt on the tongue as the mind decodes this sensorial information as vivid pictures.

There you are. Since they used the word "frequency" several times, we know that their science is solid. Good old science to the rescue!

To be serious for a moment, sensory substitution is a real thing. But it's very complex and I don't see how it would be helpful to people who do not have their senses impaired.

And I'm not quite convinced that an electrified lollipop will do the trick.

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